What Gives You Pleasure: Pleasure Mapping
What does pleasure mapping look like and what can it accomplish?
We had the pleasure of talking with Yeside Olayinka-Agbola. Yeside is a certified sexual and reproductive health educator and an intimacy and pleasure expert.
My Sex Bio: As a sex educator, I’m sure there are many ways in which you can apply your knowledge and skills. It seems as though a large part of what you do is to focus your time and energy working with group event and one-on-one sessions, is that right? What do you do at group events like showers? And how does that differ from your one-on-one sessions?
Yaside: You are right, my focus is a lot on one-on-one sessions and group events. I find that I have more success with group events than one-on-one sessions. In Nigeria, we are still very tight lipped about sex and there is a lot of self consciousness around sex and sexual health.
Booking a one-on-one session seems to be admitting to having an issue or problem which many folks are not ready to do. They would rather get their sex education in a group event in a fun setting like a Bridal Shower, or Karaoke etc. At the beginning, everyone is quiet and reserved.
I pass around a box where participants can ask their burning questions anonymously. As I answer their questions, many times with demonstrations, participants are become less reserved and many follow up questions come. In 2020, I am pushing for more one-on-one sessions either in person or virtually as that allows us go deeper
My Sex Bio: What would you say is your main focus in the field of sex education? I’ve noticed mention on “pleasure mapping” on your website. Can you expand on that concept? What does pleasure mapping look like and what can it accomplish?
Yeside: Sexual Health and pleasure is my main focus in sex education. In my community, in Nigeria, most of the sex ed we get is preventive and genital focused. “Don’t have sex, or else you will get pregnant or get an STI”. There is a distinct lack of focus on pleasure as a very important component of sex especially for women.
Pleasure mapping allows you to discover and unearth what gives you pleasure outside of your genitals. It opens up a whole world of stimulation and arousal outside the genitals and this has revolutionized the sex lives of many.
You set time aside to explore the different pleasure spots of your body and how they respond to different types of touch and stimulus when you are aroused. You can do it alone or with a partner, I recommend it to everyone.
My Sex Bio: March 2021, we talked about Audio porn. Have you experimented with this trend at all? If so, what have your experienced been like.
Yeside: I haven’t had any experience with audio porn yet.
My Sex Bio: What would you say are the pros and cons to porn and/or erotica in audio format?
Yeside: For some, audio erotica can be a way to get stimulated and let their mind conjure the visuals as opposed to traditional porn and erotica. However, I caution about the expectations this might create during the actual sexual experience with a partner. What happens when neither you or you r partner doesn’t sound like what you heard in porn?
Personally, I am not a fan of porn, I encourage my clients to create their own erotica in their heads as opposed to feeding from someone else’s fantasy.
Again, this is my personal opinion.
My Sex Bio: Some partners integrate porn into their sex. Could we do the same with audio porn? How?
Yeside: In turning to our theme of the new dating normal, what do you think is the BIGGEST difference between dating today and dating maybe 20 years ago? The biggest difference between dating today and 20 years ago is the huge role technology now plays in the dating process. 20 years ago, when you started dating someone, you didn’t have much background information on them. You probably didn’t have much contact asides phone calls and letters in between dates.
Today, with the help of the internet you have likely carried out an in depth investigation on a potential partner even before you go on the first date. Technology also helps you keep in touch with your partner through social media, texts and video calls.
My Sex Bio: How has technology played a part in that? And what are the pros and cons to it?
Yeside: While all this technology helps with keeping in touch, there’s a possibility of keeping things light where dating partners may not engage. As deeply with each other. There’s also something to be said about mystique during the dating process which heightens sexual anticipation. Too much exposure through technology can take that away.
Thank you for talking with us, Yeside! Check her Instagram account.
Discover What Gives You Pleasure by Pleasure Mapping was originally published on My Sex Bio’s blog on June 18, 2022.
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