Sexual Aftercare: What Is It and Why You Need It
Hey there lovely human!
Have you been looking after yourself? What is your self-care routine like?
While regular exercise, nourishing food, a scrub, a long bath, reading a book can all be part of self-care, we often forget about sexual self-care. This is where Aftercare comes into the picture.
We want to share about Aftercare with you and answer all the questions you have, including those that you might feel uncomfortable to ask. This is what My Sex Bio does. It steps in as your friend and guide towards a healthy sex life :)
In this post, we’ll talk about what is sexual aftercare and why you need it. In the following posts, we’ll share the benefits, types, and tips for sexual aftercare.
Let’s get started!
What is Sexual Aftercare?
According to Mary Grace Garis, “aftercare is a concept that originated in the BDSM community, and it generally refers to the things you do to make sure everyone is okay and taken care of after sex play. However, aftercare can be anything that you and your sexual partner(s) need after the encounter.
Certified Sex Therapist Kim Atwood says that “aftercare can include, but is not limited to…cuddling, holding, pillow-talk, sensual touch, laughter, taking care of your partners’ physical and/or emotional well-being, discussing things that went well (giving positive reinforcement).”
How long after sex can we still consider it so?
As with most things sex, it depends on what you and your partner(s) consider best. Everyone’s needs are different and they can change depending on context. Sometimes aftercare can mean checking in with a partner two days later as much as bringing them a glass of water right after can.
Why Sexual Aftercare?
At My Sex Bio, we believe that sex education and empowerment are vehicles for peace. For most of us, the sex education we’ve received throughout our lives does not equal a healthy relationship with our sexual selves. And because much of the sex education we receive early on is fear-based, it can actually get in the way of developing a healthy relationship with our (very natural, human) sexual side.
Exploring the different definitions of sex is at the very core of fostering this relationship.
What narratives have we built around sex?
To what extent do they serve us when it comes to having a fulfilling sex life?
Do our narratives usually include what happens right after our sexual encounters?
Probably not.
According to sexologist Chris Donaghue (2020), “our culture uses a performance model for sex: It’s treated as though there is a goal, one right way to achieve it, and anything else is a failure,” which is one of the reasons why most of our narratives around sex are climax-centered.
Dr. Lexx Brown-James contends that “sex doesn’t necessarily have to end at any type of peak or orgasm, or when a penis is no longer hard.”
Why Sexual Aftercare was originally published on My Sex Bio’s blog on June 15, 2020.
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