Deconstructing Gender for Freedom
By Nina Lee Bennett
“Pink or Blue?”
This is the opening question of a video I came across a few months ago — a simple question representing an entire system of gender construction present in our society.
Before we are even born, we bear the stereotypical role of our gender, defined by societies over time. You are either a girl or a boy. And every gender comes with a set of responsibilities, freedoms, and expectations.
But is this division real? Is it relevant? Can separation in these categories contribute to the natural expression of our sexual identity?
Stereotypes are oversimplified ideas over a thing or a person. They help the vast majority of the population understand something unknown to them or even categorize someone to process their reactions.
However, due to their oversimplified nature, they are often wrong.
Just because we happen to be born in a specific body does not mean we should aspire to fit into a stereotype. We should not adjust to the stereotype; we should shatter it.
Boys and girls are simply kids. Men and women are simply people. Masculine and feminine expression lies in each of us, regardless of our gender, sexual orientation, or culture.
Our children are born unaware of gender. Their only difference is their genitalia. How we raise the children is what places them in this societal binary: boy or girl. How we dress them up, what we are teaching them, and to which experiences we expose them. How we discipline them, talk to them, and what information we are passing on to them are vital in understanding their gender identity and gender expression.
And it is our responsibility as parenting figures and caretakers to openly expose our kids to new ideas and concepts, way beyond the established stereotypical roles. To allow them to decide what works for them and whatnot. We need to be by their side as they realize who they are. We have to support them on their journey of self-awareness.
Self-awareness is pivotal when we are talking about true sexual identity–something much larger than gender identification. It is this energy that forces us to be real and raw. It’s the inherent power that makes us who we are, that motivates our dreams, and what shapes our relationships with others. We must be careful not to allow societal expectations to limit or tame this creative force.
It is time to let go of these outgrown notions. Now, more than ever before, we have the opportunity and personal freedom to create a new gender norm. A norm without a norm. An elegy to letting go of what our ancestors have taught us and opening up new roads for our children. Roads with limitless possibilities for self-expression that lead to a world without judgment and expectations.
A world where your body does not define your role in society. A world that embraces differences as they are intriguing for further research and expansion. A world where balancing your feminine and masculine energies is a prerequisite for personal development.
A world where your body is merely a vessel for what truly matters; the authentic expression of the soul.
And the soul is everlasting and genderless.
Deconstructing Gender for Freedom was originally published on My Sex Bio’s blog on February 18, 2020.
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